Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
When are your genitals available?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
