Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
