I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
