Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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