belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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