i think i have two assholes
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I have aggressive nipples.
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