What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Randomize
