That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
