he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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