32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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