Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
