Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
