Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
