sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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