I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
