he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
