What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
