why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Couch. On fire.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
