we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
