I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
