I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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