From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
