He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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