Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
