that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
