Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
