It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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