is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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