Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
