i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
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