We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
