Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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