We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just blew my weed a kiss
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Randomize
