I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
