I feel great
I just peed on a car
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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