and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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