u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He? As in you personified your dick?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
