And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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