Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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