And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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