she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
