For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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