is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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