My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
