i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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