He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
