sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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