you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Bring me that man meat
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
