Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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