I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
