shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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