It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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