You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
