I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
