I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
