my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
only if we run a train.
done.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
